Self-respect has always played a central role in realizing and manifesting dignity, legacy, and struggle throughout human history. Generally, it is taken as a concept for valuing oneself by setting healthy boundaries with people to protect one’s integrity. However, it plays a pivotal role in measuring and shaping relationships and personal growth. It’s a window through which we see the world and vice versa. Let’s explore the realm of self-respect and its relevance in life.
Defining Self-Respect
In simple words, self-respect means respecting yourself by accepting your limitations and needs, and taking a stand to protect and nourish it with kindness towards yourself. Self-respect needs to be validated within, nobody from the outside can boost it on the contrary if not valued it is the first thing to get trampled upon.
Ego vs. Self-Respect
Self-respect is often confused with ego, which obscures its true meaning. Nowadays, using the word ego has become synonymous with self-respect, and self-respect as a concept has lost its meaning altogether. Self-respect has always been the symbol of integrity and wisdom, whereas ego reflects only stubbornness that has neither understanding nor benevolence for anyone.
Psychologists’ Perspective on Self-Respect
Psychologists believe that self-respect is essential in maintaining mental health. Carl Rogers, who is a pioneer of humanistic psychology, says that every human being should understand his own worth. According to him, self-respect is an important factor in achieving self-actualization, only the person who respects himself can achieve his complete potential.
Rogers talks about the concept of “unconditional positive regard,” which is to have a positive and non-judgmental attitude towards clients’ thought process and beliefs for better understanding that help to begin his journey towards self-esteem.
Psychologists consider self-respect and self-esteem to be closely linked. According to them, self-esteem is based on a person’s outer validity, and self-respect is internal. Adding further, Nathaniel Branden, a renowned psychologist, says that when people compromise their values, they feel guilt or shame, which erodes their self-respect over time.
Virginia Satir, a psychotherapist, says that self-respect plays an important role in healthy relationships. In the absence of self-respect, people either become people-pleasing or fall into patterns of self-sacrifice, which makes them vulnerable to emotional harm.
To build self-respect, it is as important to learn to say “no” as it is to learn to say “yes.” Because setting boundaries and fostering self-compassion are the first requirements for a self-respecting personality.
When Self-Respect Is Compromised
There are occasions in everyone’s life when self-respect gets compromised no matter how much one avoids, such incidents leave lasting scars. If we talk about the workplace, there too, capability, seniority, and sincerity are often neglected and detrimental to self-respect.
Compromises in a toxic relationship harm not only self-esteem but also self-confidence. The deeper and closer the relationship, the more pain and for a longer period one has to suffer. Living with an abusive partner, thinking that love demands sacrifices, or what will people think, or that everyone has problems in relationships, such compromises slowly destroy their self-esteem. Which will trap you in a never-ending quagmire
Often cultural and societal pressures also harm self-respect. Unrealistic beauty standards—convincing people to have certain skin complexions, glass glow, or physical features; economic inequalities; discrimination in the name of gender roles that make people feel normal about their identity and living against physical limitations—all of these said or unsaid rules affect mental health and quality of life.
Honoring Yourself: The Path to Self-Respect
Walking Away from Harmful Relationships
Distance yourself from those who make you feel unworthy, doubtful, or confused. Surround yourself with people who uplift, support, and inspire you.
Speaking Up for What Matters
Express your thoughts on issues that are important to you. Prioritize your goals and confidently say no to things that don’t align with your values, even when saying yes feels easier.
Keeping Promises to Yourself
Follow through on the commitments you make to yourself. These small acts of integrity build trust and confidence in your own capabilities.
Letting Go of Outgrown Spaces
Allow yourself to move on from environments that no longer serve your growth. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and focus on improvement instead of harsh self-criticism.
Staying True to Your Values
Choose actions and decisions that align with your principles, even when they challenge societal expectations or others’ opinions.
Celebrating Your Strengths and Achievements
Take time to acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small. Celebrating your progress reinforces self-worth and encourages continued growth.
Practicing Self-Care Without Guilt
Prioritize rest, relaxation, and activities that recharge you. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary to maintain mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Seeking Help When Needed
Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether it’s professional guidance or support from loved ones, seeking assistance shows that you value your well-being enough to get the resources you need.
Self-Respect: Spiritual Importance
All the above-mentioned ways of developing self-respect are by developing self-esteem, which is an external treatment. This is similar to applying medicine on the leaves of a plant and not on its roots. External treatments work in many cases, but internal treatments are permanent.
If we look at the ‘self’ of ‘self-respect’, we will find that the word “self”—Atma (Swa) here—indicates the ‘soul’ in a being, said to be the reflection of God within us. It is the reflection that needs to be respected to have self-respect within.
There is self-respect, (swabhimaan), and ‘swa’ (self) in ‘swabhimaan’ is ‘atma’ (spirit). Knowing the mechanism of ‘swa’ (self) is Sahaja Yoga. He who knows this mechanism becomes independent. The mechanism of ‘swa’ (self) means knowing the mechanism of Atma (spirit).
H.H. Mataji Shree Nirmala Devi Ji -1996 New Delhi (India)
Once the mechanism of the soul is understood, it becomes easy to value its worth and respect. There is a system in our body called Kundalini Shakti that specializes in decoding the secrets of not only our soul but our overall well-being. Contrary to the belief that Kundalini is a ‘fierce power’ this power is waiting to rise to unlock the subtle system. She nurtures all the elements necessary for your soul so that the feeling of self-worth and self-respect gets established automatically.
This process is a little slow but gradual and has its beautiful effect starting with establishing the peace within; just a little patience and consistency are needed. Start with just 10 minutes of meditation. Click here to start meditation.
Conclusion
Honoring yourself is a journey of self-discovery and growth. It fills the life purpose and positivity. Moreover valuing yourself is also about the standards you uphold for what you allow in your life by setting boundaries for yourself and others.
It’s a gift that enlightens your path forward and aligns with your true identity.
Image: Pinterest